Two Partners, both with NRE

Rough night overnight. My Garmin watch says I slept 4.5 hrs. I'd say that's a bit of a stretch and closer to maybe 3 hrs. Last night was our last full day of the cruise and we ended it in style. The hope was to go to bed and sleep until at last 5a (4a EST). It wasn't meant to be. 

While awake and staring at the ceiling, I made a realization that in the past 1-2 months, both of my partners are experiencing forms of NRE. For those who dont know, that's new relationship energy. My spouse has a brand new relationship with someone she's been interested in for over 2 years. My partner has spent the past week exploring a new sexual relationship with someone near Jax. I assume these feeling for the Jax boo were for a longer period of time relative to how long we have been dating. Both have me in my feelings. 

I am feeling as though I am no longer the shiny, bright new toy...I'm feeling replaceable. Those were all the things going through my head overnight. I rubbed on my anxiety bracelet, I chanted under my breath to remind myself that I am safe, secure, I am loved and desired by both partners. It just didn't work. I found my headphones and started listening to podcasts saved to my mobile device which helped. But I would turn it off because I was so sleepy, but would never go to sleep 😴 

I promised my partner I would engage in the morning. I did share I slept like shit, but haven't engaged about the full context overnight. Neither have we engaged about her evening and overnight with her partner. She's probably dealing with some issues on her own regarding her experience with him as well as the judgement her dad will give since she didn't come home last night. It's not my issue, but I have to give her space to deal with it as well. 

There are lots of things for us to discuss when we catch up Sunday after she returns home. I will be home late saturday night with hopes of 12 hrs of sleep in my own bed 😂 

My partner has no idea just how much I missed her this week 😢