Back in late September, I flew to visit my parents, sister and half-btother before the Bucs/Eagles game. It was a fantastic weekend but something quite interesting occurred. My folks were headed out of town for the weekend so other than the day I landed, they would be gone until the end of the week.
So I'm sitting in the house late Thursday after dropping my folks off. I realized at that exact moment, I'd never stayed in my childhood home, by myself...ever! Never ever! That weekend was the first time I'd stayed there alone, as a child or adult.
This opened up some feelings. Some good, some bad. The most impacting one was that I don't like being alone most of the time. And why is that? As i started to ponder it, I begin to think about my childhood and how during the summers of my teenage years, I was left at home, unable to go outside nor have friends inside.
All of this was stirred from a question my spouse has always wondered about me. I never ask to spend time alone. When she leaves to do whatever, I make it a point to not be home alone. Is it because I feel its a wasted opportunity to hang out with someone else or, is it because I don't want to be alone?
I think in this instance, two things can be true. It's a lot of both. I dont want to be home alone, and I do want to utilize that time to hang out with others. But sitting within myself and answering that question has settled me in a lot of ways by understanding where it comes from. I appreciate the universe and the many people that have supported me while I figure it out 😘🥰
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