Time for an Update Pt 2

And the hits keep on coming. In mid August, my partner invited me to come see her. It was totally out of the blue but I was still super happy to see her. I shaved my head and got all spiffy to see her. Later in the day before I was to leave to go see her, she sent me an address to a hotel. Oooooh yeah!

Driving there, I was thinking of all the wonderful places and things we'd experience together and how lucky I was to have dated her for nearly 6 years. She met me outside as I was parking and there was such a big hug and reconnection...and it was then I started to wonder why the need to meet up in a hotel room. 

We walked in together, hugged and kissed more. And there was something on her face that was off. And it was then I started to worry about why I was brought here. Finally, we sit down and I ask the loaded question "What's up?"

"I have no choice but to break up with you" were the repetitive words I kept hearing over and over. She basically admitted to wanted her 'happily ever after' person, someone she could grow old with, someone to ask about her day everyday, someone she could do day to day living with, and we both knew I am not that person. Ultimately, she chose monogamy over anything I could offer, which hurt like hell given our relationship was about as solid as it could be. 

There were lots of tears on both ends. I honestly never really saw that coming. At worst,  I was expecting her to say she and her partner were choosing to be primary partners, which I would've been perfectly okay with. But to completely end it? I never saw it coming. My tears were regarding a book with an unfinished chapter. I felt there was so much more to write and say. Instead, I was left without a seat at the table to choose how we navigate or transition our relationship. And that is what hurt the most 💔 

The next day, I left for Ft. Lauderdale to get away, which helped. The photo taken on this journal entry was taken at Hollywood Beach during a full moon. It was a wonderful trip which kept me distracted. But the pain immediately returned when I landed at the airport. Breakups are hard man!