I have...

I have a confession to make. I've used the church on Wednesdays to get two hours of sanity so that the misses and I can have sometime to ourselves. Okay, let me explain! The church in our neighborhood has a program called 'Awana' which provides Bible study to youth. The church meets on Wednesdays and since our kids need friends that 'look like them', we figured they would meet those friends at the local church. Anyway, they have adult bible study at that time as well, but because 1) we have no family here, 2) we have no friends we can depend on, we typically can't get away and have mommy and daddy time. So we've begun using Awana Wednesdays as our date night while the kids get some 'ligion in their lives. Is that morally wrong on our part???

You've Got Mail

Hey Grandma Ethel Lowe,

It's been a while since i've written one of these. How are things up there? Are Tupac and Biggie getting along up there? I see you've had a chance to meet Rick James in person. No longer do you have to hug the record album version of him. We really miss you here and hope all is well.

The family is great! Your son is being the 'Rock of Gibraltor' he's always been. He's mellowed out as he's become older. And despite how hard he was on me growing up, I've come to be amazed at the man for all that he's done for me and the family. Your daughter-in-law is looking gorgeous as ever, aging like fine wine. She's doing well and the two of them are my rock. Your granddaughter is doing well. The last 5-6 yrs have been a little rocky, but like you, she has steel through her veins and will be fine. She has three boys. One is in college studying to be an Accountant. The youngest is in high school with aspirations of attending the college. The middle child? Well, he's still trying to figure out his path.

I have a beautiful family myself grandma! My wife is a beautiful woman, kind of stubborn like you. She and I are raising three kids: 2 boys and one girl. The two boys are my spitting image; I couldn't deny them if i tried. The oldest is playing football and is becoming a responsible, young man. The baby boy is very smart, with quick wit, just like you. He's still feeling his way, trying to figure out himself. The girl? I think she's the most like you of the three. Stubborn, with a fiery personality to match. I'm sure if you show yourself to her, she will receive you and you guys would be two peas in a pod.

I just wanted to say that after all these years, I still remember the time we spent fishing together. I can still recall the day my younger cousin ATE the two bluegill i caught and hoped to eat later that night! Only you could have kept me from throwin him from the dock that day. You seemed to really understand the whole me. Some think i'm aloof, a little odd, even nerdy, but that's okay. Those who know me are fine with it and it was you who always told me to 'be true to me'. I have been being me and I thank you for the love you've shown me.

Thank you for hearing me out. Tell the rest of the Jedi Council crew i said 'Waddup'. Tell Grandpa I love him as well and i really hated i didn't get the chance to fish with him. Since we're being honest here, that one dude you were with, Mr. Lowe; he really scared me! I hated that he called us the 'Duck' family! Take care and hopefully NOT ANYTIME soon, we'll have Sunday dinner again.

AJ

P.S. - If you can forgive me for not attending your homegoing service all those years ago, I can forgive you for calling me 'Aaron' all those years *wink*.

The Ant And the Elephant

Below is a story that was shared with me by one of my uncles. I was about 18 years old, near high school graduation, but a bit concerned about moving from high school where I was a 'big fish' in a small pond, to college where I would be a 'small fish' in a much larger pond. He understood my sentiments and over a game of pool, he recited the story below. Hope you enjoy!

There was this elephant that was walking through the jungle when he
fell into a pool of quicksand. A mouse just happened by and asked,
"You need some help getting out?" To which the elephant said, "Of
course I do, but how can you possably get me out of here?"

The mouse simply said, "Let me go get my Corvette
and I'll be right back." In just a few minutes the mouse returned
driving a bright red, brand new Corvette. He got out, hooked up a
chain to the car and proceeded to pull the elephant out of his sure
death trap.

A week or so passed and, once again, the elephant was walking through
the jungle making sure to avoid the quicksand, when he spotted the
mouse traped in there surely to parish. He looked over to the mouse
and asked, "Do you need me to help you out of there?" to which the
mouse replied, "I sure do, but I didn't know that you too had a
'Vette." The elephant told him, "I don't, but I do have a BIG
dick." He then proceeded to flop it out and pull the mouse to safety.



And the moral to this story is.....





If you have a BIG dick, you don't need a Corvette!

Sign Of The Times

Can you believe it? Election day is finally here! Right now as it stands, history will happen in a few hours. The question is, which? Will the first African American candidate win to become President of the United States or, will the first woman VP candidate win to become the first Vice President of the United States.? Again, history will happen today!

So i'm watching the Sarah Connor Chronicles last night. During commercials, i would flip to the MNF game between the Redskins and the Steelers. The wife isn't much of a football fan so out of respect of her, i tried to keep it on Fox for Sarah Connor to finish. The MNF game started at 8:30 so i figured to miss the first quarter. Anyway, about 5 minutes before Sarah Connor goes off, I hear "those f*&kers punted again!". This chick is watching the interactive version of the game on nfl.com!! I could have hurt her for leaving me out like that!

You want to know why she watched the game? Apparently, the last home game for the Redskins has accurately predicted the party of the next president 15 out of the last 16 presidential elections. If the Redskins win their last home game before the election, then the incumbent party stays in power. Else, if they lose, the incumbent party loses their white house bid. If you guys are believers in superstition, the Redskins LOST to the Steelers 23 - 6 which would mean, the incumbent party is outta here! It'll be interesting to see if that holds true tonight.

I hope rocked the vote and if you haven't, shame on you!!