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     Two weeks ago today, I was in a hospital gown having arthroscopic surgery on my left shoulder. I tore my rotator cuff and labrum months earlier while performing some olympic lifting at my home gym. I haven't had a sound night of sleep since the injury and look forward to sleeping again without the aid of awesome pain/sleep medication. Post surgery pain has been under control and aside from the rigor of physical therapy, I've slacked on pain meds.

     Now that the holidays are here, I'm finding myself trying to get into the holiday spirit. The kids are not little any longer and I'm finding it harder and harder to have the spirit of Christmas. You know, that jolly, happy, be thankful for what you have kind of feeling? I just don't have it. I can tell you everything that I don't have (lol) but can't really say what I'm thankful for having.

     I have started to see a therapist to discuss my inner demons. So what are my inner demons? I have many. Probably my biggest demon is that I tend not to share my feelings over fear of hurting someone else's feelings. I internalize them and eventually, I begin to resent the individual that I won't share my feelings to. That single 'demon' has caused about a year of frustration at home with the spouse, as well as relationships outside of home.