Friday, November 1, 2024

November 1st 2024

Today is my 27th wedding anniversary! It's been mostly good. More great memories than not so great memories. We are celebrating on Florida's emerald coast and because we both enjoy seafood and wonderful dining experiences, we are excited to see what the area has to offer. We drove yesterday and stopped at a restaurant that's makes its own beer. I had blackened grouper (of course) and one of their blonde ales. It was soooo tasty! No complaints so far!

Today, we woke up a bit late (we are on Central time zone so we gained an hour) but made great use of it by sleeping in. We enjoyed coffee/tea and blueberry Muffins on our balcony overlooking the gulf. It was a beautiful morning and I look forward to several more mornings of this. 

Looking forward to sharing more! 

Sunday, October 20, 2024

Similarities

My in-laws are in town this weekend. My father in law has a good friend whose family threw a surprise 80th birthday party for his wife. The missus and I were invited to the celebration. 

It was lavish and fun! Catered food at a large home in the Emory area. Africans know how to celebrate! But about 5 minutes after entering the home, i literally saw someone that looked like my deceased maternal grandmother. 

I stood there, in shock! I couldn't stop looking at her. She had a full head of gray hair that was combed upwards into a shorter afro. Her hairline resembled my own hairline. She was dark skinned and her mannerisms were just like my Nana. I could feel the tears swell up in my eyes. 

A flood of emotions came over me. Mostly happy memories and feelings. I started to recall how as my grandmother's only grandson (at the time), I always got to sleep in her room when my sister and my other two cousins would stay at her home when we were kids. I started recalling climbing the big oak tree in her side yard, that no one else could climb it. I remembered all the dogs she ever had and running around the backyard with them. And there was the convenience store shortcut, behind her house through the woods, that eventually became my haven for play. 

By the end of the night, I gathered the fortitude to reach out to her and share with her the similarities I saw in her with my Nana. She was 80 years old and so appreciative that her presence was able to bring joy to a complete stranger. And no, she is not family (lol). I wished her well with her travels, she offered a hug which I gladly accepted. 

Thank you Nana for appearing in human form as a reminder of the strong bond we still share. U were loved by many and u made all your grandkids feel special 🥰 Your memory and the energy u poured into me, I'll never forget the life lessons and I hope to pour that same energy and passion eventually into my kids/grandkids. 

Thursday, September 26, 2024

Where Do We Go From Here?


I wished I had the answer. I genuinely live my ex partner and she loves me. But given how things have transpired, will I fully trust her again? It was a lot for me to choose to continue speaking to her on a regular basis following our breakup. In the past, I would've walked away, never to entertain even being her friend. But to date again knowing she still wants her 'happily ever after' person knowing I won't ever fit that description, is it worth it? 

In my own head, I'm okay with the possibility of dating her again. But it will be on my terms. She's requested if we reignite our relationship, that i not date anyone else (other than my spouse). That's a hard 'NO' for me because whT incentive do I have to agree with that? She chose to end our relationship, not me! I chose not to date anyone else. In my opinion, she doesn't get to dictate that choice for me going forward. 

And that's where we stand. It's like a pissing contest to see who will run out of pee first (lol). I don't see myself relenting on that boundary ever again and if I'm as important her as she says I am, she will have to be okay with that.